Saturday Night, Home and Family

Looking out at the road rushing under my wheels

I don't know how to tell you all just how crazy this life feels

I look around for the friends that I used to turn to to pull me through

Looking into their eyes I see them running too

Jackson Brown

Its Saturday Night, been a big week,all peeps asleep, been a big day of important sand castles, cartoons and Super Mario.The week , well opportunities to learn with kindred spirits, inspired by others turning from Shame to Grace, and a bright flame extinguished, way to soon .

No text books right now, just YouTube trawling great songs of my youth. I have loved so many great bands. I gave up early worrying about what others thought about what I liked. If it moved me , I couldn't help it. That was a big thing to , the not worrying, it rarely happened in any other area of my life.I loved everything from The C;ash To Kiss. To many in between to mention here. I found this song tonight. Always loved the bridge, the last two lines of it. The fear, if you look , you can see, but keep breathing, loving, living, praying like its up to God, and working like its up to you.

Today I was walking with my son Maverick, he was holding my hand, walking and talking. My heart could have exploded . He is so beautiful. He is from me, in me now always.He has come through me from a universe I am humble to admit I know so little about. What a gift, I cant think of a greater gift, a child's love.

I am glad for recovery. It tells me I am not perfect, that it is human to need support, love, care, all the way through, daily. I rang a good friend through the week, a father himself, asking him fathering questions. He is an initiated man in recovery. He was loving, straight, clear and honest with me. I am grateful to know that no matter how long you are on this planet, it is ok to reach out.

So , Tonight, I sit home, grateful for the rest , grateful for this home, grateful for the recovery that is the foundation of my life, grateful for all that have answered the phone to me, that have had cups of tea after meetings, gone for those long walks, weekend retreats, spent days at conventions, nights after the meetings, hanging to the wee hours, well tonight, I thank you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SnnL8wEDNJM