Review Of Addicted to Porn- Chasing the Cardboard Butterfly. A film by Justin Hunt

In May 2017, I attended the International Institute of Trauma and Addiction Professionals Symposium in Phoenix Arizona, where I attended a screening of the Documentary Addicted to Porn- Chasing the Cardboard Board Butterfly, Hosted by the Director-Justin Hunt.

The film, narrated by Metallica front man James Hetfield, focused on the threat that current day Pornography and Technology poses to our children, our marriages, our families and our society.

The film itself had been deliberately created to be shown across a broad audience, so it contained no sexual imagery, and can come available with curriculum for churches and schools. Being an audience member that evening gave me an experience that I wanted to bring downunder.

Watching the film and hearing the guests discuss this modern phenomenon was something I wanted to create for my clients and colleagues.  I had the pleasure to meet Justin in the lobby after the screening, and I bought the film and a small screening license for my private practice.

On returning to Australia I was excited to promote the screenings. I have built a private practice treating sex addiction, and have trained in Australia with the IITAP Certified Sex Addiction Therapist Training Modules with other Aussie therapists, so I knew colleagues that would be interested.

I facilitated two workshops, one for Clients and one for Therapists. Screening the film, then facilitating a workshop where I shared resources regarding sex addiction treatment regarding pornography, and then discussed the broad issues raised in the film.

Within the title of the film it refers to Nobel Peace Award winning entomologist, Nickolaas Tinbergen’s work, who was famous for identifying super stimuli. One study placed a brightly coloured cardboard female butterfly in with real females. A phenomenon occurred and the real females were ignored by the males as they seduced by the super stimuli that was artificially created. This study was done with spiders and fish, with similar results. The real stimuli could not compete with the artificial.

The discussion that this film starts creates a strong argument that Pornography with current technology, is a super stimulus.  Its unbelievable, unachievable, unrealistic. Men and women turning to it get the brains reward system so triggered so quickly that it eventually renders the male impotent with their primary intimate relationships, leaving wives ostracised and traumatised, and defeated by a competitor that is impossible to compete with.

The film makes the point that we are not talking about porn of the last millennium. Print and Video media made porn finite and harder to access. Modern technology makes porn instantly available , on smart phones and devices, anywhere, anytime and anything you can think of, you can look at.

The more frightening reality though is that children can access this same resource, and statistics show us this average access age is 8 years old. What makes this ever more sinister, is that sex, the shame surrounding the subject, and the silence this shame renders in family systems, church systems, educational systems, parliamentary systems, means that nobody is talking about it, period.

Recently articles have been making appearances in media about violence on school and university campus’s, and the connection between the violence towards women that is portrayed in pornography. Children’s unfiltered access to this and this observed behaviour are all being discussed finally in that same reference. Dr Patrick Carnes, a pioneer in the field of sex addiction treatment has being presenting the idea that Violence between men and women , as well as in our LGBT Communities can be seen as a reflection of what has been in abject increase in pornography, and what is informing our children and teenagers as the new norm of sex.

In the screenings I showed, the clients had the chance to talk honestly with others on how pornography had become a secret master that dominated their private time, controlling them to the point where some lost their families, jobs, dignity and free will. Living against personal values was especially crushing. Moderation was not possible with a stimulus that dominated the brains reward system. The Neurobiological evidence presented in the film was particularly provoking , as finally there was evidence that helped make sense of the experience of watching and losing yourself in porn. Sex Addiction specialist Rob Weiss calls Porn the "Crack cocaine of process addictions!"

Most shared that they had received no adequate, helpful, age appropriate information in the families growing up, or from their school or churches. The absence of this conversation in and of itself is shaming. We learn that lust and sex urges are bad, and we need to keep them secret. This compartmentalisation is what occurs when adults aren’t talking and kids are not asked about their sexual selves. Well tonight these men got to talk and listen to each other and were grateful the conversation for them had started. Some being fathers meant the conversation had to continue in their lounge rooms at home.

In the Colleagues workshop, there was a chance to discuss the sleeping giant that this issue is. Clients due to shame don’t usually don’t bring up their sexual behaviours, (unless they have been caught) Similar to an Alcoholic in denial that goes to his Doctor, to talk about his depression, and keeping secret their alcoholism. At best they minimise it or trying and normalise it, “Everybody does it”

The Therapists spoke about how to  get comfortable  to talk and work through their own sexual shame, so they have the courage and the skill to address, discuss and identify with clients when this has become an issue for them.

Another theme was how important making devices safe within families, and how if one has an addiction to porn, they need to be humble and block all access with software and programs designed to keep your devices safe. Without willingness to do this I would hazard to state the client is not serious about recover yet, at best still in denial. Also picked up on in the film was the term, teaching our children to become better digital citizens, and the importance this places on parents to get up to date on how to address these new frontiers with there kids.

The film was loved by both audiences, and both relished the opportunity to be part of a discussion that has been a long time coming. All left to carry that discussion to their private practises, to their families, to their communities.

I felt joy to see the subject of Sex Addiction, including Pornography Addiction to be taken so seriously. The film has some commentators arguing against it, but their discourse sounds flimsy and incoherent against the body of research and evidence based practise that is now offering a recovery road map out of desperation and desolation.

This has to be just the beginning. This film is a must see for every family. This is not a preference. It’s a responsibility that we all have to share.

 There is a storm upon us, and we have to start talking to each other.