Even when traumatised people get into recovery, and they want to have a connection, their nervous system does not allows them to connect to others. We to easily perceive threat and get defensive and usually repeat our pathology .! Our nervous system gets in the way. This is what we are powerless over in codependency recovery - developmental trauma recovery means that we need to accept that we will be triggered at this level , our bodies response needs to be addressed from the bottom of the brain up ( Regulation Techniques) as well as the top of the brain down ( CBT) to gain a greater awareness if our reality. What triggers us into conscious defence mechanisms and cognitive distortions and the toxic versions of feeling states.
This is what we mean when we say trauma pre-disposes us to addictions and behavioural cover ups.
Telling someone to just pull their socks up, and get over is as helpful as asking someone to be taller !
So many people have tried in recovery for years to work the steps, and feel as though they are failing to do it right when all along their is a central nervous system imbalance leading to neurophysiological response that until addresses will keep us trapped in the same old implicit unconscious reactions . This is hopelessness until it is addressed from the bottom up.
If this is you don't get up , and venture beyond talk therapy . The answers are out there. Dr Allan Schore, Dr Dan Seigel , Dr Stephen Porges are a great place to start. Therapies such as Brainspotting, trauma Release exercises Somatic Experiencing, EMDR, Trauma Focused Yoga, Radical Exposure Therapy by Dr Laurie McKinnon all head us in a new and powerful direction . If you want to know more please message me.
Pete Walkers book and emotional flashback skills are essential to.
http://pete-walker.com
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