Recovery Icon John Bradshaw passes away.

Well I am just l learning this news. God rest his soul and support the hearts of Family and close friends . 

The loss must be indescribable .

To the rest of the recovery community we have lost an icon. A man who humbly stated that he stood on the shoulders of giants, only to become a true giant himself. His illumination on the damage of dysfunction to child development was ahead of its time. 

The interpersonal neurobiologists of today's fame owe an enormous amount to Bradshaw. He was at the coalface, and his concept of Toxic Shame and Healing the Shame that Binds You reconnected many souls.

His acknowledgment of the Shame core and the passionate healing that comes through his work in Homecoming restored hope to generations to come that they could interrupt the pattern of generational abuse.

 The Family series was ground breaking and life saving, always impressed me that it was shown in prison throughout the USA to all those second child scapegoats.

 

I have his voice regularly in my head and as a survivor of childhood trauma  and being in recovery from many addictions, some for over 30 years now, I am in debt to Bradshaw for my life. He will always be one of the voices within me that leads me to my true north.

You will be missed you beautiful man. 

http://m.chron.com/news/houston-texas/houston/article/John-Bradshaw-self-help-guru-dead-at-82-7424137.php

Gabor Mate and other men and women of greatness

I was listening to this on the way home , and was just hit by how special this man is. I have this feeling with music to. I remember hearing Neil Young's Live at Massey Hall 71, and I felt what Pia Mellody calls joy/pain. Joy at how wonderful it was, how brilliant he was at 23, and pain knowing I would never do that with the guitar. I feel the same way when I hear Gabor Mate, Dan Seigel, Bessel, Pat Ogden, Alexandra Katehakis, Allan Schore , Porges, Pia Mellody, John Bradshaw, John Lee and Patrick Carmes ( to name a few!)

One thing I will say about the resilience that can come out of early childhood trauma, I never have given up playing guitar and writing songs, and I will never give up the belief in holistic Physical, emotional, psychological and spiritual approaches to healing.

http://youtu.be/qlHIWXWDuF0

Mums Turning 85.

Well, Mum turned 85 this week, second birthday without Dad. That is big seeing they were married for 60 yrs. I have traveled with her for over 50 yrs. Through her mental illness, my drug addiction and recovery. Lots of ups and downs.

I wrote this poem for them, after we had done a lot of healing about the stress and trauma of my early years in that house. It was a house that suffered in pain, but not a house without love. My mother was in an out of hospital for Bi-Polar, at a time they just bombed you out on Medication, and tried to fry your brain. Even she knew it wasn't working and just willed herself off it all and went it alone. She is a woman of great courage and conviction at one level, and what Dr Stephen Porges and helped me explain the bits she was powerless over, the extreme reaction to her own trauma. Parents that parent with Complex Trauma Disorder do the damage they fear was done to them.What we know now, they didn't know then, so good for her that she just said that's it, I'm gonna fight my way out of this thing.
 I am changing my family legacy, the one they they inherited.The one I inherited from them.

My father never understood it, but think he respected me for it before he died. He knew I would look after Mum. I had his value system. I have been thinking of him lately. I have a poem just for him coming up soon. But today, we head out in the soccer mom car, to eat at the same table I have had Christmas at for 51 years. Its familiar, Its my family.

 I have had to create a family of choice to grow and survive, and I am grateful for my Family of Creation as Jen, Marshal and Maverick have changed my life forever.
I still have battles. I also have many years of knowing that there is creation in the love and care of others, friends and strangers. I just have to make a decision to avail myself to this love.

So Happy Birthday Mum and Thank You for everything.

Thank you. ( To Mum and Dad)

Thank you for Kisses and Band-Aids
Pancakes on Sundays
With Lemon and Sugar and Love

For soccer and new boots
Training and tracksuits
And always getting me to the games on time

For saving and holidays
John Denver and jet planes
Hawaiian skateboards and Disneyland

My first day at school
When you walked away from my world
And I swore that I would never talk to you again

Being doubled to school
On your old postman’s bike
Before I knew it was uncool!

For Birthdays and cakes
Fresh and home baked
And never forgetting not one

Plum Pudding and Santa
Opening presents in pyjamas
And the importance of gifts
Wrapped in love

For lying about Santa
The Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy
Knowing eventually I would find out
They were real.

Thank you,
For teaching me there’s love after arguments
For staying together
When it would have been easier
 To just leave

For loving me,
When it would have made sense
 To throw me out.

For a sense of duty to Family

Dad,
Thank you for showing me the meditation of washing up
To give an honest day’s work for a day’s pay

For showing me how to be romantic
How to hold a woman when she is crying

For backyard test matches
Soccer ball catches ( Im a Goalie!)
And digging the hole for the pool

For B.B.Q’s, watching the news
Being decent and driving well.

For my first guitar, leather Jacket
And letting me play music way to loud

For adopting me, and treating me like your own
Not letting me leave, when I wanted to go

Thank you,
 For turning up, to truth
And for listening, and seeing me,
 Accepting and allowing me to be me,
And the man into which I have grown.